Seth Meyers Rummages For Monologue Scraps In Tonight Show Dumpster

New York, NY–Following another lackluster taping of Late Night with Seth Meyers, sources confirmed that Seth Meyers was found inside the Tonight Show dumpster, behind Rockefeller Center, with hopes of finding source material for his next show. “I’ll take whatever I can get really,” said Meyers. “A one-liner that wasn’t used on Jimmy’s show or a skit idea that got cut would be perfect.” Up to his shoulders in filth Meyers continued, “It’s pretty easy to get through the alley way to the dumpster too. I don’t have to worry about tourists getting in my way because most people don’t recognize me.”

Among the collection of salvaged material in Meyers’ “idea bag” were old “Thank-you Notes” and “Tonight Show #Hashtags” thrown out from the night before. “I know I could find all the Hashtag tweets online, but it just means more knowing this card had probably been through the hands of Jimmy himself.”  

“This is a great find!” Meyers said proudly as he pulled a cue card out from under the piles of cardboard and banana peels. “We’ll repurpose this into my “Closer Look” segment tomorrow night.” At press time Meyers was found admiring a half eaten container of vegetable dip believed to have been eaten by an A-list celebrity guest of the Tonight Show.

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