It’s another routine flight for Delta Flight 581 from Houston’s Hobby Airport to JFK in New York City. As the Boeing 757 approaches 30,000 feet, the seat belt sign is turned off and the inflight service cart is rolled out. Sarah Meads, a flight attendant who gives out full cans of soda to every passenger,…
San Diego, CA–Cuddly Critters, a new local pet store, celebrated their grand opening this weekend showing off their wide selection of pets that offer customers the chance to stink up their homes in a variety of ways. “From shit on your carpet to hair in your bed our pets will ensure that your home never…
Detroit, MI–In a new altruistic initiative, Little Caesars Pizza has introduced the Spinning Sign Outreach Program to help the homeless. The program, designed to help panhandlers attract more revenue, teaches students the fundamentals and advanced techniques of sign holding, spinning, and dancing. Ted Scott, Little Caesars head of public relations, said, “We help the homeless…
New York, NY–Following another lackluster taping of Late Night with Seth Meyers, sources confirmed that Seth Meyers was found inside the Tonight Show dumpster, behind Rockefeller Center, with hopes of finding source material for his next show. “I’ll take whatever I can get really,” said Meyers. “A one-liner that wasn’t used on Jimmy’s show or…
Durham, NC–Stating that the claims were “bogus” and based on “forgery, lies, and corruption,” officials have formally debunked Will Smith’s now 25-year long claim to monarch rule in Bel-Air, California. Historians from Duke University cited that Smith’s claims were first popularized by the documentary show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In an official report they stated, “Throughout…
Philadelphia, PA–Calling their name “sexist” and “inexcusable” the Feminist Group, All Are Equal, made recent demands to Pep Boys, the tire and automotive service chain, to update their name and logo to be “void of prejudice.” Chairman of All Are Equal, Barbra Heines, stated in a press release, “The tyrannical days of this boy’s club…
