San Diego, CA–Cuddly Critters, a new local pet store, celebrated their grand opening this weekend showing off their wide selection of pets that offer customers the chance to stink up their homes in a variety of ways. “From shit on your carpet to hair in your bed our pets will ensure that your home never smells the same way again,” explained Beth Hoffman, Cuddly Critters manager. Hoffman pointed out that dogs and cats were definitely the most popular pets of choice. “Customers enjoy the fact that these animals have the ability to move throughout their entire home ensuring every inch of the place they are supposed to feel most comfortable smells like sun-baked saliva.”
Hoffman wants to assure customers that even if dog shit or kitty litter isn’t the particular awful smell they are looking for, there are plenty of other ways to stink up their home. “Hamster wood chips or uneaten vegetables scraps from a reptile habitat can offer subtle yet equally offending odors to any residence.”
However, Hoffman admits that stinking up one’s home isn’t for everyone. “Not all people want their home to have the uneasiness of the intimates section of a thrift store, while simultaneously maintaining the smell of feet wrapped in a public restroom. Many customers just want a mindless and time consuming task like cage cleaning and water filtering.” Hoffman continued, “For this special niche market we suggest our selection of fishes or turtles. These animals are sure to waste a Saturday afternoon of yours at least once a month.”
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